Prior musings have focused on mindful attitudes as tools for mental health and stress management. These attitudes include non-judgmental acceptance, patience , curiosity, letting go and trust. Mindfulness gives us the awareness and clarity to view challenging events as opportunities for creative, flexible problem-solving and personal growth.
Non-striving will be the focus of this instalment. Western society promotes striving. “Getting ahead” in terms of careers, accumulating material objects and setting lofty goals are societal values. We are taught to feel guilty, lazy or unworthy if we are not accomplishing something. This conditioning starts at a young age and can be difficult to overcome.
Non-striving means letting go of goals if they are producing too much stress. Each of us has a different skills and various amounts of energy, drive, and resilience. It is about honouring our own energy and stress tolerance without comparing ourselves to others. To maintain health it is important to be aware of stress levels and make adjustments if necessary. There are times when we have to exceed our comfort zone, but this needs to be the exception, not the rule. ” Keeping up with the Jones’s” can be hazardous to your health. We can make note of societal expectations and learn from the goals and achievements of others,but following your own path in your own way is a must for mental and physical health. The benefits of non-striving are enormous. We can reduce self-criticism and increase joy and vitality.
Setting goals is essential for human motivation and optimizes focus and creativity. It is equally important to not get attached to the outcome of a set goal. Letting go of overly ambitious goals can be difficult. It takes awareness, self-confidence,courage, wisdom and flexibility to modify goals as needed. The hallmark of a healthy living organism is adaptability. Non-striving ensures that we don’t suffer unnecessarily from over-attachment or getting stuck on a particular outcome.
Mindful Homework:
Ask yourself “who is in the “striver’s seat””? Are you following your own goals or the expectation of others? Regular self-examination in regards to energy, mood, sleep and life balance (hobbies,vacation,down time,socializing,etc) is essential for awareness and maintenance of our physical and mental health. Include regular goal-setting in this exercise. Take action by modifying goals that are not serving you or are causing excessive stress. Make this a habit at an interval that works for you-perhaps every few months. Journal your goals and self-assessments.
For optimal health, one needs to develop self-awareness, have clear health goals, a willingness to make necessary changes and an attitude of openness, acceptance and gratitude.