Prior musings have outlined a method of optimizing physical, mental and spiritual health by focusing on self-care and embracing the mindful attitudes of non-judgmental acceptance, patience, curiosity, trust, non-striving and letting go.
This musing will outline the importance of overcoming negative conditioning to reduce reactivity and improve mental health.
It is healthier to respond to life’s inevitable stress waves rather than react. While an initial reaction to a challenge is virtually inevitable, the ability to be mindful will help the reaction dissipate more quickly. This reduces the amount of damaging stress hormones and restores the balance,equanimity and clarity needed for creative problem solving and well-being.
Conditioning refers to unconscious messages that we all carry deeply in our psyche. They are like recorded tape loops instilled at a young age and perhaps reinforced by certain life experiences. Positive conditioning may give us feelings of self-worth and confidence,while negative conditioning may have us feeling unworthy or unloveable. We might overreact in situations that trigger a deep-seated threatening message rooted in negative conditioning.
By practising mindfulness, we can enhance our awareness of negative conditioning. When we are triggered, we can stop, breathe and reflect. We can regain our composure by lightly touching the situation with curiosity. Ask yourself if a particular challenge deserves a full-blown stress reaction. A stress reaction is part of our survival mechanism to protect us from actual harm to life or limb. If the challenge is simply a perceived threat, originating from negative conditioning, we can choose to calm down and shift to a problem-solving mindset.
Heightened awareness of our negative messages allows honest self-appraisal. Examples of internal dialogue might include “I’m stupid, incapable, unloveable, need to get more done to be worthy, etc,etc”. When tested against the reality of the actual skills, intelligence, accomplishments and loving spirit that we all possess, these negative self-assumptions eventually disappear. We can then make decisions that promote a balance of giving and receiving. We can have relationships based on trust instead of fear.
Mindfulness promotes moment by moment awareness. It necessitates letting go of previous moments. We do not let go of memories, as they are important learning opportunities. We do,however, cultivate the ability to let go of the negative emotional impact of past experiences. We can be driven by the part of us that has deep, calm awareness rather than by our emotions. Emotions are part of us, but when we are driven by emotions it often leads to unhealthy decisions.
Living moment by moment with full acceptance and kindness towards yourself will allow you to let go of negative conditioning and live your life with more ease and joy.
Mindful homework:
When you find yourself upset, use your mindful curiousity to question whether it is an old negative message that is causing an overreaction. Compare your actual self to the negative judgments that arise and choose kindness to yourself whenever possible. Be as kind to yourself as you are to others.
For optimal health, one needs to develop self-awareness, have clear health goals, a willingness to make necessary changes and an attitude of openness, acceptance and gratitude.