ONE FOR ME, ONE FOR YOU
– Kristin Neff, PhD
Please bring to mind someone who needs you, but caring for them is starting to exhaust or frustrate you. For this introductory exercise, please choose someone who is not your child. See the person clearly in your mind, and feel the struggle in your own body.
Now, please read these words carefully, letting them gently roll through your mind:
Everyone is on his or her own life journey.
I am not the cause of this person’s suffering, nor is it entirely within my power to make it go away.
This moment can be difficult to bear, yet I may still try to help if I can.
- Now, aware of the stress you are carrying in your body, inhale fully and deeply, drawing compassion inside your body and filling every cell in your body with compassion. Let yourself be soothed by inhaling deeply, and by giving yourself the compassion you need when you experience discomfort.
- As you exhale, send out compassion to the other person who is associated with your discomfort, or exhale compassion to living beings in general.
- Continue breathing compassion in and out, letting your body gradually find a natural relaxed breathing rhythm. Breathe in for yourself, and out for the other. One for me, one for you.
- Occasionally, scan your inner landscape for any distress, and respond by inhaling compassion for yourself, and exhaling compassion for the person who needs it.
And read these words once again:
Everyone is on his or her own life journey.
I am not the cause of this person’s suffering, nor is it entirely within my power to make it go away.
This moment can be difficult to bear, yet I may still try to help if I can.