F.R.E.E.
Use the acronym F.R.E.E to help us remember the tools of mindful communication:
F– represents figure out: a) how you are feeling? and b) what do you wish to communicate?. Being fully present and calm is essential. Strong emotions gets all the attention, obscuring the intended message. Remember: you can “emote OR communicate”. Using S.T.O.P can help centre oneself and truly figure out what needs to be said.
R-is for responsibility. Be responsible for your own thoughts and feelings. (Can anyone really “make” you angry?) When you get angry or upset, that is your reaction to the other person. Accepting that responsibility paves the way for meaningful, effective communication.
E– is for expression. Assertive statements such as “I feel..”, “here is what I notice”, “could you clarify for me?”, are assertive, meaning that you are no less nor more important than the other person.
E– is for empathy. Attentive listening to others and acknowledging their viewpoint without judgement promotes dialogue. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Misunderstandings and emotional challenges are often simply solved with deep listening.
To implement F.R.E.E. it is imperative to ensure the other party is available and present before initiating dialogue. Ask the question: Are you available for a conversation?
- Notice what thoughts and emotions you are experiencing before responding.
- Take a moment to place yourself in the other person’s shoes.
- Speak your truth clearly.
- Use “I” statements and don’t place blame.
- Evaluate the short-and long-term consequences of your response.
- Maintain humility and explore ways to transform conflict into opportunity.
- Be courageous and act with compassion.