Prior musings have outlined a method of optimizing physical, mental and spiritual health by focusing on self-care and embracing the mindful attitudes of non-judgmental acceptance, patience, curiosity, trust, non-striving, letting go and kindness.
This musing will explore the concept of core values. Our core values are based on our deepest beliefs and values. It is helpful to heighten awareness of core values as part of stress management.
Every day we make numerous decisions about relationships, work, activities and self-care. If we understand our core values and keep them at the forefront we are more likely to make choices that reduce stress instead of adding to it. Our body will react negatively when we make decisions that go against our deeply held values. That gut ache, heart palpitation, hot flash,or muscle tension is simply your body detecting a discrepancy between your true inner self and a potentially unwise decision. It is said that “the body never lies”. It is very helpful to notice and respond to the messages our body is giving. If we feel peace and ease after making a decision it is likely the correct one for that moment.
Some examples of core values include: generosity, honesty, loyalty, courage, compassion, self-reliance, strength, personal growth, tranquility, nature, exploration, creativity, etc. When you truly understand your core values you have a constant compass that keeps you on track whenever you feel lost in some way. There is a difference between goals and core values. We may have specific goals, but core values give meaning and direction to those goals.
In our hurried, distracted society, it is especially important to slow down, taking the time to pay attention to our bodies, minds and spirits before making a major decision. The concept of “sleeping on it” is wise as it allows unconscious reflection to occur. Reflection makes it more likely that our core values can be honoured, ultimately adding to our ease and deep satisfaction. Living in alignment with our core values helps us to surf life’s inevitable stress waves more effectively.
Mindful Home Practice: Consider taking some quiet time to reflect on your life so far, looking for decisions and events that gave you deep satisfaction, joy and contentment. These may give you clues to help you discover your core values. It is worth writing these values down. You may also reflect on times you felt out of balance, perhaps out of alignment with these values. There may be external or internal obstacles that make it difficult to live by some of your core values. This is common and is a great opportunity to practice patience and self-kindness.
Please visit www.centerforMSC.org for more information by Drs Kristin Neff and Chris Germer who have taught me many of these concepts.