Prior musings have outlined a method of optimizing physical, mental and spiritual health by focusing on self-care and embracing the mindful attitudes of non-judgmental acceptance, patience, curiosity, trust, non-striving,letting go and kindness. This musing will explore how mindfulness can help us skillfully handle our desires, wants and fantasies.
Consider this: our wants come from our minds (“neck up”), while our actual needs come from paying attention to our our bodily sensations (“neck down”).
It’s human nature for our attention to drift from being fully present to fantasizing about wants and desires. Most of us indulge in flights of fancy with a wide range of “the grass would be greener” topics that may include new relationships, different work, new material goods, moving location, etc, etc. Daydreaming can be part of a creative process that can be helpful in setting goals and making life changes that are positive. It is equally important to be aware of the harms of excessive ruminating. We may easily get lost in wants and desires. Excessive fantasizing takes us away from full connection to the present moment. The result can be chronic dissatisfaction instead of present-moment appreciation and contentment.
If we succumb to our wants and desires without mindful pause and consideration, we can add to our stress. Short term pleasure may bring long term pain. Changes are more effectively made after calm, wise consideration instead of rash impulsivity. If we act impulsively on our wishes and desires we may discover that instead of being greener, the grass on the other side may be a field of weeds!
Awareness of our thoughts and emotions, wishes and desires is enhanced by regular mindful meditation practice. Regular practice cultivates the skill to pause and label these aspects of our inner life, helping us to make wise choices that are more likely to bring long term satisfaction.
Mindful Home Practice:
Notice your stream of wants and desires. Pause, consider and fully draw on your inner wisdom before acting on them. Cultivate appreciation for your present reality. Gently reign in excessive fantasizing by purposeful returning to the present moment as often as possible.