AVOIDING AVOIDANCE
Prior musings have focused on mindful attitudes as tools for mental health and stress management. These attitudes include non-judgmental acceptance, patience, curiosity, letting go, non-striving and trust. Mindfulness gives us the awareness and clarity to view challenging events as opportunities for creative, flexible problem-solving and personal growth. This musing will emphasize the healthy mental habit of avoiding avoidance!
We instinctively avoid pain, whether it is physical or emotional. It can be healthy to ignore some pain so it does not become an all-consuming main focus. On the other hand ,ignoring painful situations completely often leads to a worse outcome in the long run. Small problems can be amplified out of proportion the longer we procrastinate. Suppressing or stuffing negative emotions or situations may result in self-destructive behaviours such as over-eating, gambling, addictions to drugs or alcohol or social isolation. Avoiding often results in excessive worrying and anxiety. Physical symptoms such as headaches, insomnia,stomach pains and high blood pressure may result.
Mindfulness, which is non-judgmental moment-by-moment awareness, can give us the strength and confidence to face fears or unpleasant situations. We can develop the confidence to know that we can handle that which we are avoiding. Once faced, most of our fears are relatively unfounded. The relief obtained by confronting previously avoided situations can be immense. It can allow us to experience more vitality, clarity,creativity and joy.
Facing fears results in personal growth, allowing us to participate in life more fully.
Mindful Homework:
“Procrastinate Tomorrow!” Consider making a list of challenges or issues that you have been avoiding. Rank them in order of importance and perhaps degree of perceived discomfort.
Resolve to face some of these issues over the next few weeks. Keep a journal of the outcome, comparing your fears to the reality of facing them. Remember that not every situation can be resolved, but see if making an effort is helpful.
For optimal health, one needs to develop self-awareness, have clear health goals, a willingness to make necessary changes and an attitude of openness, acceptance and gratitude.