MEDITATION ON CONTENTMENT
(Adapted from “Real Joy – Right Now” by Sally Kempton)
Most of us know how to practice discontentment. “When such and such happens, then I’ll be happy.” Why wait for happiness, when it’s available to you right now, at this moment?
We routinely sabotage our good moods by worrying about the future, grumbling about the people in our life and telling ourselves negative stories. So how do we reach contentment? Working with our own thoughts and feelings can radically change our capacity for contentment. Contentment is something that has to be practiced–retraining our minds to view life from a different perspective.
Contentment is much more than a state of satisfaction with one’s possessions, status or situation. It is a state you have to bring up from inside yourself.
Feelings of dissatisfaction should not be dismissed lightly. Any feeling of discontent contains a message–a built in wake up call– it’s almost always because you’re out of touch with your most authentic self, and with the desires that come froma your heart’s core.
To start the process, close your eyes and focus on your breath. Let the breath be an anchor you use to keep yourself steady as you begin to ride the waves of your feelings. Now, think of something that brings up your feeling of dissatisfaction or discontent, or of wanting something you can’t have. Notice how it feels, see if you can find the tendrils of your own discontent in your mind and body. Perhpas ask yourself about your discontent: “What’s behind the feeling of frustration? What’s inside the sadness? What lies beneath the fear?” Observe what arises, simultaneously focusing on the breath. You’ll probably notice after a while that your feelings aren’t static. They shift and change all by themselves because that’s the nature of feelings.
The bottom line practice for contentment is to give up wanting what you don’t already have, and learn how to accept what you cannot change.
Try experimenting with this affirmation:
- Breathe in and say to yourself, “What I have is enough.”
- Breathe out and say to yourself, “What I am is enough.”
- Breathe in and say to yourself, “What I do is enough.”
- Breathe out and say to yourself, “What I’ve achieved is enough.”
Repeat this cycle for several minutes, paying close attention to the feelings that arise along the way–both feelings of peace and feelings of resistance. It’s likely that some part of you is going to have a series of doubts such as: “This is a nice exercise, but what about my calling to do something meaningful in my life. How am I supposed to be content if I don’t accomplish all that?”
The practice of contentment requires a willingness to accept yourself and your situation–this is not an easy process.
Ask yourself a few fundamental questions: “Am I living my own life, the life that expresses who I authentically am? Or, am I smply living the way my culture and family, and the people around me think I should be living? What do I need to do, and who do I need to be to feel authentically myself?”
Not everyone gets to choose his or her means of livelihood. Yet each of us can find ways to authentically express and nurture our personal strengths and gifts–the qualities of character that belong to our essential being.
Because we live in a culure that values the dram of being “special”, of having a big destiny that drives us even when we don’t know it, the experience of real alignment often comes when you allow yourself to just be “ordinary”.
This quality of being authentically yourself, just as you are, without pretense or struggle, is what is really meant by integrity–the ability to fully integrate even the uncomfortable, difficult parts of yourself into the whole, so that your thoughts, your words, your body language, and your actions all express your deepest values–living in alignment with your inner path–the path that rightly belongs to you.
If you ‘re feeling disconnected or unsure about something, you can always check in with yourself by asking: “Does this thought, action or decision take me closer to my own true nature?” Behind the questions of preference is the ground of what is the real source of contentment–the state of pure being that lies behind your thoughts and actions.
Meditation is one of the keys to this state of pure being. Here is a meditation for fostering contentment:
- Sit upright with your eyes closed.
- Listen to the sounds around you without trying to identify them, make sense of them or rush them away.
- Draw your atttention inward. Feel the sensations inside your body.
- Follow the movement of the breath, the entire arc of inhalation and exhalation.
- Notice the thoughts that are coming and going. Do this without trying to make sense of them or avoid them.
- Every time you notice yourself following a thought, i.e. as soon as you become aware that you’re thinking, bring your attention back to your breath.
- Focus your awareness in the centre of your chest–feel the pulsation of your own heartbeat and know that the rhythm of your heartbeat is the rhythm of life. Each heartbeat signals a new moment; a new present.
- Just be with it–not trying to change anything.
- This is where you’ll find your heart’s real calling–your authentic sense of self.
Contentment is the gift that comes when you touch the timeless essence inside a particular moment of time. No matter what else you may be feeling, you can open the door to contentment by giving yourself permission to stop and be with yourself.