S.O.S.
S = Soften – Giving physical compassion e.g. hand gestures
O = Observe – Observing and allowing what is; i.e. mental compassion
S = Soothe – Emotional compassion e.g. kind words
When you’re feeling stress, or noticing the inner critic, intentionally practice softening, observing & soothing. S.O.S. can help to reverse the instinctive tendency of the body to resist and react to emotional discomfort. Remember that you are not trying to make the sensation go away, you are just holding it with less tension and resistance.
Softening exercise: Allow your muscles to soften by visualizing your hand placement to be like heat to sore muscles & say to yourself: “soften, soften, soften”.
e.g. Let yourself soften around the edges like the edges of a pancake.
Observation exercise: Allow the discomfort to be there. Abandon the wish for the feeling to disappear. Let the discomfort come and go as it pleases, like a guest in your own home. Say to yourself: “observing, allowing, observing, allowing”.
Soothing exercise: Practice speaking kind words toward yourself. e.g. “This is distressing, but surely I’m not the only person who ever felt this way”. “May I be kind to myself”.
Soften, observe, soothe. Soften, observe, soothe. You can use these three words like a mantra reminding yourself to incline with tenderness toward your suffering.