The following eight qualities of mindfulness are the attitudes which help to facilitate the practice of meditation. By adopting and cultivating these ways of being, your meditation practice grows deeper, richer and more meaningful. These qualities of mindfulness are also the “antidotes” you can use to deal with the above “obstacles”.
Kindness: Fully accepting and caring for yourself
Non-judgement: Mindfulness is cultivated by assuming the stance of a witness to your own experience. To do this requires that you become aware of the constant stream of judging and reacting to the inner and outer experiences that we are all normally caught up in, and learn to step back from it; to just see it for what it is. Common judgements that people experience when they do this work initially are, for example, “this is boring”, “this isn’t working”, “what are so and so talking about?”, etc. When these thoughts/feelings come up in your mind, it is important to recognize them as judgmental thoughts without holding on to them or pushing them away; just seeing them for what they are.
Patience: Patience is a form of wisdom. It demonstrates that we understand and accept the fact that sometimes things must unfold in their own time. We want to adopt the same attitude of patience towards our own minds and bodies when doing this kind of work. We must remind ourselves that the mind has a tendency to judge and be impatient. That is what the mind does.
In doing this work, our job is to intentionally remind ourselves that there is no need to be impatient with ourselves because we find the mind judging; or because we are intense, agitated or frightened; or because we have been doing this for awhile and nothing miraculous has yet occurred. The idea is to open up and give ourselves room and permission to have the experiences that are occurring. Why? Because we are having them anyway. That is what is being presented to us at this very moment.
Beginner’s Mind: Beginner’s mind means adopting a posture or attitude of curiosity and experimentation in doing this work. Very often we let our thinking and our beliefs about what we “know” prevent us from seeing things and experiencing things exactly as they are. Approaching the work with a “beginner’s” mind opens us up to new possibilities as the experience of meditation unfolds moment by moment. And with new possibilities come new ways of responding, behaving and relating to what life is presenting to us.
Trust: Trust, with respect to meditation, involves developing a basic trust in yourself and in the wisdom of your own body and mind.
Non-striving: Almost everything we do is for a purpose, especially in this culture. But in meditation, this attitude can be an obstacle. That is because meditation is different from all other human activities. Although it takes a lot of work and energy of a certain kind, ultimately meditation is non-doing. This is an extremely important aspect of meditation. For example, if you sit down to meditate and think “I’m going to get relaxed”, or “I’ll reduce my fear about this or that”, or “I’ll find a great sense of inner peace”, then you have introduced an idea in your mind of where you should be. This attitude undermines the cultivation of mindfulness, which involves paying attention to whatever is happening moment by moment.
The best way to achieve your own goals in doing this work is to refrain from striving for results. Instead, start focussing carefully on seeing and accepting things as they are with patience and nonjudgmental attention.
Acceptance: Acceptance means seeing things as they actually are, and letting them be for the present moment. It is important to note that acceptance is not the same as resignation. When we talk about acceptance, we talk about opening up to exactly what life is presenting without adding an additional layer of our wants and needs on top of that. When we accept what life is presenting in the present moment, we can usually act and respond with more wisdom and clarity, and with more self-acceptance.
Letting Go: In cultivating mindfulness, we want to develop an attitude of letting go or non-attachment to the usual ways of thinking and relating to our bodies and minds, and to the world around us. As we begin to do this work, we often notice that there are certain boxed-in feelings and situations that the mind seems to want to hold on to over and over again. In meditation practice, we intentionally put aside the tendency to elevate or focus on some aspects of our experience or to reject others. Instead, we just let our experience be what is and practice observing it from moment to moment—the pleasant as well as the unpleasant.
Letting go is very different from pushing things away. Letting go means not holding on as tightly anymore. It involves just “easing the grasp” even slightly, on whatever you’re clinging to. It’s a gradual process. Letting go of something, even by 5%, is a good start. And, as with all of this, it’s a choice. Often, letting things go is best achieved by letting things be, allowing them to be exactly as they are, moment by moment, and watching how they change.
It is only by not fighting yourself or your experience, that you can let things unfold smoothly and effortlessly, making room for change to take place, guided by your own inner wisdom. As you allow your experience to be more in the flow, you yourself become more in the flow. Furthermore, please remember that the only way to be truly in the present moment, is by letting go of previous moments.
The above eight qualities of mindfulness are not only the attitudes that facilitate the practice of meditation. They are also the direct benefits of doing this work.
By practicing mindfulness meditation, you are cultivating the ability to be more present, as well as less judgmental; more patient, more open and curious and able to see things from a new perspective; more trusting of yourself and the wisdom of your own body and mind; able to achieve more with less striving; more accepting of yourself and everything around you, and more able to let go of the things which are keeping you stuck—if you wish to.