SELF-COMPASSION FOR CAREGIVERS
This exercise is intended for use in actual caregiving situations. It is a way of being compassionate with ourselves while maintaining connection to others. It combines the Giving and Receiving Compassion meditation with phrases that cultivate equanimity. Equanimity is balanced awareness in the midst of pleasant or unpleasant emotions.
Find a comfortable position and take a few deep breaths to settle into your body and into the present moment. You might like to put your hand over your heart, or wherever it is comforting and soothing, as a reminder to bring affectionate awareness to your experience and to yourself.
Bring to mind someone you are caring for who is exhausting you or frustrating you—someone whom you care about who is suffering. For this introductory exercise, please choose someone who is not your child, as this can be a more complicated dynamic. Visualize the person and the caregiving situation clearly in your mind, and feel the struggle in your own body.
Now read these words, letting them gently roll through your mind:
Everyone is on his or her own life journey.
I am not the cause of this person’s suffering,
nor is it entirely within my power to make it go away,
even though I wish I could
Relationships like this are difficult to bear,
yet I may still try to help if I can.
Bring awareness to the stress you are carrying in your body. Inhale fully and deeply. Draw compassion inside your body, filling every cell. Let yourself be soothed by inhaling deeply, and by giving yourself the compassion you need.
As you exhale, send out compassion to the person who is associated with your discomfort, or to others in general.
Continue breathing compassion in and out, allowing your body to gradually find a natural, breathing rhythm—let your body breathe itself.
“One for me, one for you.” “In for me, out for you.”
Occasionally scan your inner landscape for any distress, and respond by inhaling compassion for yourself, and exhaling compassion for others.
If you find that anyone needs extra compassion, focus your attention and your breath in that direction.
Notice how your body is caressed from the inside as you breathe.
Let yourself float on an ocean of compassion—a limitless ocean that embraces all suffering
Read these words once again:
Everyone is on his or her own life journey.
I am not the cause of this person’s suffering,
nor is it entirely within my power to make it go away,
even though I wish I could
Relationships like this are difficult to bear,
yet I may still try to help if I can.